one of those nights.

so scary.
and whoa. way bak in april..when i was choosing a workshop to go to @CC.. i chose this discipleship one.. becuz its one of those things close to my heart, and seeing ppl grow closer to God--that makes me so happy. when i chose it however, i was thinking more along the lines of my 2 friends who had grown to kno God thru me.. but He definitely had something bigger planned for me when i took that workshop.

there is no doubt in my mind what i kno i will do... its jus that im really scared. i've never done nething of this sort -- eveR. and the amount of time that will b needed..
ok well i kno im jus saying these things tho i kno God will provide... its jus that im scared. there are a billion n one reasons why...
but by faith n trusting in Him i will overcome them. easy to say.. ;p

must rmb isaiah 41:13..

For I am the LORD,your God,
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you,Do not fear;
I will help you.

why is it that the best stuff comes to mind when i'm tryinG to fall asleep??????aghhhh. gotta stop doing this. all this thinking b4 bed.. so this is why im up at this hr .....

saw elsie for the last time (b4 she leaves) today ..gave her a card.. and i was thinkin.. cards r small,inexpensive things, yet they can make the joy last longer than material things becuz cards have meaning in them.. n then i was thinkin... why is it that most of the.. encouragement/compliments/etc come at the 'end'?? when a person has to leave? its like now u realize how much they mean to u--jUS when they gotta go?! i think thats sad..i mean,i do that too..but i think we should encourage n thank the friends we haf right now,esp the ones u kno will always b there for u,n no time or distance can come between the friendship,becuz u never kno when they might b gone.

i was also thinking..mm mayb not so much think,but rather it kinda popped into my head...... that God made me to feel.feel as in feeling deeply..emotionally. and i realized that.. for much of this past yr or whatever.. i havent been doing that. i've been..keeping my distance from feeling too much/deeply beucz..i dont wanna b hurt. i uno why.. i jus put up this 'defense mechanism'...i mean, of course i wanna feel ,but.. at the same time i dun wanna wind up being some drama queen that ends up crying over small things, blown up. hai. which is why i envy u KW cuz u jus dive right in. hahahh.

o yah. somethin else jus came to mind. i really like to do things for ppl when they least expect it. cuz surprises r the beST :D

i was also thinkin.. why cant best friends b something more? (shoot dont b dirty!;p i mean guy/girl best friends) o haha sorry. reason why i thought bout that was cuz i jus watched sweet home alabama (reese witherspoon) for like the millionth time..but havent seen it in a while..s o yah. that movie is so sweet.fave parts r the beginning n the end,in the rain..

im gettin tired. haftu get up early tmr too ,b4 9 :(

humm.. havent really said much bout my vacation to vancouver/hawaii...

vancouver was alright... not as good as previous times.. ;p

hawaii:
-reALLLLLY frustrating during the first couple of days becuz we were travelling wit other relatives altogether...so figuring out arrangements n stuff was difficult,annoying,and tiME CONSUMING!!!(esp cuz someone changed their minds and didn't wana drive nemore, tho the van was already paid for..)
-it got better as the days went by.. did things separately lol :P
-awesome food cuz relatives own this well-known chinese restaurant there hehe ;p
-driving alongside the ocean!!that was awesome.. it was literally right there..
-saw penguins,flamingoes,dolphins :D (seen at hotels, as strange as that might seem..), and sea turtles,sharks, gil(from nemo!haha), and stingrays @aquarium place
-watched polynesian cultural performance with dances where the ppl yell really random things loudly and do these really cool rhythmic clapping things
-"re-bell", "meanbean (supreme)"
-swimming in the pacific... tried to 'snorkel'.. and got huge cut from the reef : ( wana see my scar??;p
-walking on the beach with palm trees overhead.. knowing You,Jesus, knowing You.. there is no greater thing..
-living @hotel with oceanview.. u could walk out from the outdoor pool, and jus sit there watching the waves splash less than 40 feet away... that was awesome. i sat there for an hr. it was mesmerizing.. and the sunset there too. wow.
-mac nuts!!!!!!!
-shopping in open air malls..
-sunrise on top of a mountain in maui.. where i almost blacked out.. got to see the stars b4 that, n shooting stars too... that was amazing

donEE organizing pix into album... check it out here:
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been a week since i cracked open my Bible... found this:

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."

The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD .
It is good for a man to bear the yoke
while he is young.

Let him sit alone in silence,
for the LORD has laid it on him.
Let him bury his face in the dust-
there may yet be hope.
Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him,
and let him be filled with disgrace.

For men are not cast off by the Lord forever.
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love.

Lamentations 3:21-32

God always gives u the unexpected...

i've always been the follower not the leader..

omg.
hellish night/morning.

i miss home..
went to whistler for the day.. it would b sO sick if we went in skiing there in winter.. omG haha but driving there would be so freaky..all those winding roads

leavin for hawaii tmr

u know.. i realize now that u may be right n i jus didn't wana see it. its scary..change is always scary. but inevitable... *sigh.

thanks.. for bringing me bak home, even if it was only for 30 mins.

where i would be without my friends i don't know..

God bind my heart to Yours.. stop this straying.. erghh.

reading max lucado's it's not about me..

time to sleep !