ending process what!?

my prof started off today’s class by asking where we’d like to be instead at that moment, and I was just thinking that I’d much rather be outside, going for a walk in waterloo park, trying to make sense of things, trying to regain peacefulness in my heart…

I couldn’t sleep very well last night after I discovered at midnight, that I had chosen the wrong article to do for an assignment that was due today, and I just had a lot on my mind in general…

I was gona redo my assignment (after realizing that I would not be able to say to God that I had done my best) but the site for the offcampus login to access lib journal articles wasn’t working, so I emailed my prof about it and went to bed around 2:30. I think it took me at least 2 hours to fall asleep; I was tossing and turning so much, and then I was awakened by the crazy thunderstorm early this morning… but despite my lack of restfulness, I wasn’t very tired today, as I usually am on Mondays.

when my prof posed that question to the class today, some ppl said home (a plane ride away), and some ppl said somewhere hot…and then my prof closed the discussion by saying that it’s part of closure … what??? hahha

but for some odd reason, at that moment, for the first time, it really hit me. that I’m really nearing the end. I felt like crying in class. haha. my very last group session is tomorrow; this is the last full week of my university career. everything’s ending, finishing up, wrapping up. where did this term go??

4 years of university are coming to a close…. what the heck does that mean for me?!

the weather’s starting to warm up…the warm breeze feels so good… it brings a sense of comfort somehow… that this is the one thing I know will be, and nothing can be done to thwart the arrival of spring. that this is one thing I can count on-the season changing.

so many things are uncertain right now… summer job? summer plans? family vacation? the biggest thing is that I am still awaiting a response from the internship in BC. the only one I applied for. so I’m getting a little anxious, even though it’s been going smoothly so far.

I duno just feeling a little lost and overwhelmed right now… when I get anxious/nervous, I get knots in my stomach; everything just twists… and I need to go #2 (yes that was absolutely necessary). as the end is nearing, there’s nothing I can do to stop it or slow it down. just gotta keep moving.

I’m going to miss seagram so much—you guys have been my comfort zone, and literally my ‘home’ this year (I’ll leave my hello kitty slippers w/you to take to ur place next yr!), esp this term... you guys have been SO much more than the cure for my boredom (read: not wanting to do work) and my stomach. ahhaha the never-ending, forever here apple pie… thanks for just being the friends I can always count on. I will never forget all the times we spent doing the most mundane (ie. studying) to the most spontaneous (another trip to heartland, anyone?) things together. ILU char, euni10, jerk, princess -<3, mother

and it has been SO good getting to know my fellow music therapy students a lot better this term. we had brunch together last weekend! it was awesome :D they’re a fun bunch. some a bit more ‘keen’ but it’s all good :) I’m so glad we’ve gotten so much closer…it makes sucha huge difference, going thru this intense program…having the support of your classmates… I mean, we get to talk about our learning processes and our feelings towards internships n stuff in class… where else would you find that!?

So the end is drawing closer… 4 years of university almost done…what have I learned, what have I accomplished, what impact have I made, what am I going to do with the few weeks I have left here?

a new chapter will begin soon…