i had a dream a few nights ago... can't rmb exactly what it was about.. but i jus rmb this one thing someone said to me... "please,give your heart away".. as in putting my whole heart into something/someone. because i'm scared of getting hurt, there's always a part of me i like to 'hold back' from others...? sure, i guess it's only natural, but i know i need to be more vulnerable and share my life more openly w/others.

Where there is no difference, there is only indifference. - Louis Nizer

what a week... 2nd last week of june already.

things i've been learning/chewing on...

words don't mean a thing. it's not about the mistakes you make, but what you learn from them. love/accept them for who they are. let go and trust Him. obedience = walking in faith. do you even know...? is it just me??help. on different pages. learning how to run to God for help first. prayer changes hearts. to hear only the sound of birds chirping.

"One half of knowing what you want is knowing what you must give up before you get it." - Sidney Howard

how funny..... i wrote like three times in my journal today...compared to the days/weeks where i dun even write at all...what a contrast. i dunno what's gotten into me..but i guess since last nite, after talkin w/a friend bout our 'year'..made me realize that i'm not alone in this struggle, and that lots of praying is needed to change the hearts of His ppl..and transform them completely.. i pray that You'll give them an unquenchable thirst for You... we know that You have great things planned for SCAC..

so tonite was pretty spontaneous...an elementary school friend asked if i wanted to check this thing out...put together by some ppl from YOAH..it's like a weekly get together... lotsa worshipping and praying... it was pretty intense..but in a good way.. haven't experienced nething like that in a while besides CC..(at least not in a small grp setting...) becuz every single person in that room was singing their heart out and truly crying out to God.. unbridled passion and worship and prayer... yet it was unified... it was amazing.. in a room full of ppl i didn't even know.. and i could feel the unity... ppl from all diff backgrounds, coming together as the body of Christ... that was awesome..

prayer was intense...everyone praying aloud simultaneously..first time i heard someone speak in tongues.... i wasnt sure if it was when i heard it.. but like.. whoa. ahha a lot of the time i just sat there, trying to absorb it all lol... but yaa... i was so blessed to have experienced tonite... at the end of it, someone shared something.. an encouragement for all of us... it was so funny, becuz... literally like every word she said, was like she was speaking directly to my heart. main things were... to keep chasing after the dreams God has placed on ur heart no matter what happens..and not be discouraged..becuz God has made you to do things that no other person on this earth can do... and He has placed different burdens and visions on each of our hearts..so don't give up and don't be discouraged... He is with you all of the way..and He'll do great things thru you if you only let Him... (haha i should b telling myself those things..)

but ya... God is good... and prayer is powerful.

ahahhaha fine... just for you dan so u can COMMENT....

jus finished watching Before Sunset.. it was an interesting movie...basically a convo between 2 ppl who meet again after 9 yrs...they talk about the what ifs...how things might be different now if they had met that december...

i dunno.. sometimes i wonder if things would be different if i had done/said something..but the moment's passed and it's too late to change that..

So now i'm wondering if i'm making the right decisions... if i put it down now...will i ever be able to pick it up again? or will it become something i'll regret later on? is it worth all the trouble? who can say for sure?? part of me's already out the door. tell me how can i trust you again?

maybe i'm just expecting too much from ppl..cuz it's what i'd do for them..

i know i should..and want.. to let go...if only i knew there was zero hope haha.but unfortunately thats not possible.. so i guess i'll always be wondering..

I wish I could say
All the things that I’d like to say
Say ’em loud say ’em clear
For the whole round world to hear
I wish I could share
All the love that’s in my heart
Remove every doubt
It keeps us apart
And I wish you could know
What it means to be me...

I wish I could live
Like I’m longin’ to live
I wish I could give
What I’m longin’ to give
And I wish I could do
All the things I’d like to do

sooo blog's not really what i use nemore.. go to www.xanga.com/summer_sky3 for updates :P