It's That Time (of year) Again...to reflect on the past (8 months of the school) year.
Self-discovery:I think I've learned more this year than in the last two years combined. God has revealed many of my 'fundamental characteristics' and brought me to a greater self-awareness. One of the most major ones being a lack of confidence, and fear, which is related.
God really pushed me out of my comfort zone this year, as compared to last year, when I absolutely insisted on staying inside it. From having night class on LCCF nights, to trying out new things (Oasis, snowboarding, CFC volunteering, etc.), to chairing winter retreat... I've learned how to step out more into unfamiliar environments and not be completely uncomfortable meeting new ppl.
My first music therapy placement taught me about myself and reinforced the things I have to work on-- not only as a therapist, but as a person also. ie. being more confident, taking the initiative, and speaking up. There is still much to be learned, but growing is a gradual process.
LCCF:God has done and blessed me w/so much this year.. most especially with LCCF. Acts 2 was taken to heart and lived out by the end of this year. Without their continuous support, encouragement, and love, I would not have gotten to where I am now, and been able to do as much. Thanks for loving me just as I am. Lau ma, you truly spurred me on ("be more assertive"), looked out for me, told it like it is, and brought out sides of me that were never meant to be seen outside of my house. Thanks for guiding me thru literally every little step. Thanks for being there. I don't think you'll ever realize the extent of how much you impacted my life in the last 8 months. Future housemate, thanks for being the example I can look up to when it comes to facing unfamiliarity and pushing me to put my faith into action.
This year, unexpected complications arose, but expectations were exceeded in other situations. God proved to be good, regardless of the situation. 1st term was difficult; struggling to understand why He had taken me out of LCCF even though I was serving on committee this year. Dynamics of the fellowship had changed from the previous year as well, and it felt as if everyone was separated from each other, doing their own things and whatnot. There was a definite lack of community, but nobody spoke of it…until 2nd term came around.
Since we looked at individuals (ie. David, Job, etc.) last term, Sharon (Man) and I decided to focus this term’s bible studies on how
communities experienced God. We were finally able to talk about the “elephant in the room” at the first pre-study of the term, where we shared openly and honestly about the fellowship and realized we were on the same page all along, but nobody had spoken up about it. The committee and leaders set the tone/example for the fellowship, so we agreed that community should start with us; since ‘community’ wasn’t happening naturally, we would have to be much more intentional about it. We decided to put our words into action and went out for bbt afterwards. We didn’t realize it at the time, but looking back it was the pivotal moment when “kommunity” all started. It slowly built up to winter retreat, when God showed us how far we had come from 1st term, and unified us through worship, His Word, sharing, praying, and singing songs at the top of our lungs until 4am.
And from then on…it was “in the name of community…”! (I think we used that phrase to death)…the last 2 weeks of school were absolutely crazy because we hung out almost every day—for the grads!
Exam time rolled around and we studied together every day, from morning to the wee hours of the night. We also had a “Feed the Frosh” program, where the upper years signed up for different days to cook dinner for some frosh…which turned into feeding whoever’s studying @the SBE. People would cook and then bring the dinner over to school in containers along with utensils from the dining hall haha. By the end, or the very last one, we laid out the food on the table in dishes and pots, along with bowls/plates and actual forks to eat with. It was quite the sight to see. It was also the most randomest dinner as we were trying to finish up all our food before going home, so we had cheeeeeeeeeeesey scrambled eggs, curry, corn, perogies, zucchini with chicken or pork, sausage rolls, fish sticks, mini pizzas, rice.
Living life together, sharing joys and disappointments, helping to fill a need, giving time and resources freely—that’s what community’s all about. And that is how I came to love Waterloo—for the people who are there and the growth that has been experienced in that place.
SCAC:How I wish I could’ve been there at retreat w/you guys, getting to know our new pastor better and bonding with each other…to grow and to learn with you guys. It was a struggle for me, wanting to be with you guys but wanting to be w/the ccfer’s as well…until I accepted the fact that my calling was in Waterloo and not in Toronto. It was an internal battle between my desires and His will. Now that I’m home for the summer, I want to make the most of my time here; get to know the people better and serve as well. For too long it has been about what I can get out of this… it should be what can I bring to the table? I hope someone can keep me accountable to this…cuz I kno I have the tendency to shy away… but nevertheless, you guys will always be my home, my family.
So much has changed, but some things stay the same. I think this is one of the first times that I can truly say: “
change is good”.
